R.I.P. Here lies a girl who smoked, drank, and wore high heels.

To say that I am sore, would be putting it far too gently. Muscles feel like fire is consuming them from the inside out, hell's demons are pinching and stretching my tiniest nerves, blocks of my body are severed from any kind of "normal range of movement". And this is supposed to be good for me?!?!
That's right folks, I have-for the very first time- decide to get physical. Sure I have danced and done pilates. Sure I have done hot yoga and body balancing. But ran? Done cardio? Aerobic activity other than what happens in the bedroom? Hells NO. In fact, while I was running and crunching and sitting-uping I overheard a woman say, "I haven't worked out this hard since high school". I flick her a sideways glance and countered with, "I have NEVER worked out this hard. I did THEATER in high school!!!!!". Sad folks. Pretty sad.
But what do you expect? I'm the girl who is 5'11" except in the shower. I should have my 5" heels surgically attached to my feet except I like variation in my heel choices. I had to go out and BUY a pair of shoes with laces just to make this happen! Also, I do NOT run. I just DO NOT. The crunches and sit-ups and leg raises are no problem, but running? In circles? Up hills? To me, I feel it is completely foreign. I have one pace- saunter. Okay, two paces, when I'm on pavement: strut. That is it!!!
Well, I guess what it comes down to is, I am hoping to be the hottest corpse in the cemetery. Because there is NO way, I will survive 10 weeks of this.