Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Phone looses fight to a 5lb Squirrel


See this picture? Looks pretty innocent right? WRONG! This little guy is my pet Papillion(read Mogwai:no getting him wet, no food after midnight, etc. ), and he is a real nuisance!
Okay, okay, that is a little harsh. Here is what happened:
I am taking a bath, my phone is on a little table by the bath so I can answer when my Mom undoubtedly will call on her way home from work. Also, because I have a compulsory need to check what time it is and I think a watch will knock my look. Anyway. I am reading the Tina Fey article in this month's issue of Esquire, and my dog (if you can call something that weighs less than 6lbs a dog), runs into the bathroom, jumps up ONTO the table and "plonk"! there goes my phone into the bath!
I fish it out and do my best attempt of drying it off, taking the battery out and flailing it around trying to shake out all the mint and cucumber smelling water out. I grab a towel and as I am drying the screen off I see it gray out and flicker. Oh, shit. "DOG!!!" I now start yelling "Nikki!" as if he either cares or will change his evil ways of jumping up where he doesn't belong. He runs back into the bathroom, tongue out, smiling and looking up at me with this proud expression that says, "yes? did you call cute little me? I was just out in the living room wrangling your hair pins into bent shapes that will no longer hold hair. That and hiding your favorite bra from you".
As I look down at his pea-brain head I realize that this isn't just a phone to me. This is so much more. Here's a look at what my cell phone does for me on a daily basis:

1. clock. I look at it to determine time, how much time has passed, how much time I have left, etc.
2. calendar. I put all my appointments in this little piece of plastic with timers that go off to alert me when a meeting is, who its with, etc.
3. alarm clock. For when I was out till 3am and have to wake up at 7am. Yes, I still do this to myself on occasion. Not because I am young, but because I am to stubborn and too stupid to learn.
4. texting. Oh texting! My favorite way of communicating! You can relay info, send witticisms, flirt, all without a 8 minute preamble over the phone about "so, how are you lately...".
5. making phone calls. Yep. It does that too!

With all this said, can you imagine my panic when I realized I would be without all of this for a whole night until Verizon opened at 9am? Where is my xanax!?!

As it turns out, when I woke up this morning(at 9:15 because I couldn't set an alarm), I put the battery back in and the damn thing works. I immediately apologized to Nikki, though he could care less and had totally forgotten he was on my #@$% list anyway, and I said a big thank you to the brilliant makers of LG phones! You made a durable little piece of technology folks! You can be proud! Now I must go, I can tell by my phone I have wasted 12 minutes telling you all this.

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