Mother of Invention

Picture if you will, a sweet middle aged woman. Short with graying curly brown hair wearing a pink robe, she stands in her dining room at 8:45 at night: dropping knives onto the floor on purpose. Yes, straight down-point sticking in the vinyl squares she has laid out at her feet. What the...?

This crazy lady is my mother and she is not actually crazy, just trying to decide if the new vinyl she is installing in the kitchen is too soft. This got me thinking about all the seemingly crazy and secretly strange things we do when we are alone. For example; someone I know eats only the patty of a hamburger dipped in tarter sauce and throws the rest away. Weird. Truly. Another unnamed friend taps on her teeth in the mirror and tries to "hear" if they sound brittle or strong. I am guilty of draining the bath tub and then continuing to lay in the empty cooling bath for another 35-40 minutes reading Esquire magazine. Bordering on psycho.

That said, is there anything more self indulgent and relaxing than just being ourselves? To do the things that-in some way or another-we all do, we just don't talk about? Okay, maybe it's weird to put potato chips on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but when my sister and I were 8 and 10 we did just that and enjoyed it openly! In fact, I remember distinctly thinking we were geniuses. This leads me to strange curiosity, not necessity, being the mother of invention in our century.

Exhibit A: the Snuggie. Yeah, you know how many times you have thought "I wish this blanket had sleeves so I could read this book without my forearms getting chilly"? I thought that at least 2.3 million times myself.

Exhibit B: the Spork. In a Pennsylvania kitchen late one night, some dude was like, "dammit! I made this chili con carne too thin for a fork, but a spoon seems not quite right... I wish I had a spoon with little prongs on the end"...viola! Spork!

Exhibit C: Facebook. Someone was tired of internet stalking being so time consuming and so he invented this interweb world where people would willingly put their details and thoughts out there for all to read, enjoy and stalk openly.

As someone who gets a little odd in my off time, thanks to Scott Boilen(manufacturer of Snuggie) and Hyde Ballard-Pennsylvania Spork man, you gents are courageous and much appreciated! No thanks to stalkers and Facebook inventor dude; you have both stole countless hours and liberty from my life. Boo to you.