Sweet and Sour

Ah, Valentine's day. For a holiday based on love, it sure brings out the haters. Oh come on, admit it, whether you are a lovely lonely or a cute couple, VD-day(double bag it kids, STDs are on the rise) causes a lot of broken hearts. The reason for this is a little confusing when you take into consideration what the day consists of:

1. Thoughtful cards, ephemera, and treats all signed: be mine. What's the problem there? That's just charming!

2. Flowers-especially pink ones. You can't hate flowers, especially in the cold month of February.

3. Chocolate. Nuf said.

Let's be realistic though, the day may consist of these lovely things, but the weeks-heck, months, leading up to Feb. 14th consist of:

1. E.E. Robbins and Kay Jewelers commercials. Trust me folks, they are annoying yes, but it would be FAR worse to get one of those crappy heart-key diamond chip pendants that are on sale for $79.99. What is that!?! The cheapest, worst design sprinkled with the left over diamond granules found on the floor of the sweat shop- lets be honest: if hardworking African baby's didn't mine it-it wasn't stolen from a museum-or Paris Hilton didn't have to hock a hotel for it, it's just insulting. I would rather someone gave me a new traveling tooth brush container.

2. Thinking if you lose 5lbs, dye your hair, get a raise, cure cancer it will make you feel better when V-day actually arrives. Try this instead: solo-mojo dance party in your living room to Peaches. Fun.

3. And this is the most crucial: Expectations. Oooooh they're a killer!
I have a formula worked out for life happiness, H=R/E That is: Happiness equals Reality divided by Expectations. Meaning, the only way you will be happy, on Valentine's or life in general, is to lower your expectations so that when divided into reality you come out with a positive number. Let's face it, unless you are extremely wealthy, (and if you are bothering to blog on a Friday morning you are not), you can't change your reality. However, you can change your expectations, your perspective, and that will help things come out alright.

All right ladies and fellas, for this Valentine's Day let's expect to get kind-of-trashed, high on pink frosted cupcakes, and probably fall asleep watching Joe Vs. the Volcano for the 80,000th time. Sweet dreams.