No Good Deed, EVER AGAIN

So much has happened since my last post, but as this blog is simply a site for people to read when they have nothing better to do-and judging from last year's popularity of Honey Badger on Youtube, and this month's obsession with The Hunger Games-I am sure it has not been missed by the vast majority.

Ahem.

I was recently sharply schooled in the old adage: "No good deed goes unpunished".

I received by post a very imposing and official declaration that I have been charged CRIMINALLY and there has been a warrant posted for my arrest. Having been expecting "Thank You" cards from my Nieces, not only was I disappointed, but I was thoroughly annoyed at the candor in which the word CRIMINAL was being bandied about. A diligent sift through the sordid decree led me only to a case number I could reference when filing my plea of guilty or not guilty. I take offence to this since I make it a personal vendetta against the Catholic Church never to feel guilt and, secondly, had I committed a crime I detest that the first thing I would feel about it-having been caught-would be guilt! Ha! Far from it! Judging from the government systems I see running day-to-day I take it as a matter of hurt pride that they could have found me out in a crime that undoubtedly I SHOULD have been deft enough to hide! So, the letter should read- "Check one and return with proper postage(circa 2012 that's about $3.15) -"Responsible" or "Not" for ______________ criminal trespass.

It wasn't until I called and went through 2 different Marilyn's and a Jen that I found out what they were wanting me to feel guilty about.

Parking in a handicap stall.

NOW! Before you start judging me and touting how SHAME is the box I should check-let me first describe the circumstance to which I received this citation.

7 months ago-Texas law enforcement is obviously working at a southern draaaaawl-I had recently moved to Austin from Europe and drove my small scooter up to the grocery store to get some bare move in basics(sponges, hand soap, everything to make guacamole). This grocer is quite busy at all times and there is never enough parking for everyone. Knowing this, I did not want to take up an entire parking space for my minuscule moped so I parked in the hash marks between rows-NOT STALLS-rows. I was squeezed in between 2-3 shopping carts and one of those plastic buggy cars for kids that also has a grocery basket on it for children that can't make it through one of the most colorful and wildly displayed places in the world without entertainment. Definitely no room here for a full size van with a wheelchair capacity. Neither was it anywhere NEAR a handicap stall that a poor 90year old abuelita would need as she made a quick stop for New Flaming Hot Gruyere Cheetos.

In trying to save more car space for all those Ford F 1-50 Texas Edition trucks, I committed a crime so heinous as to incite CRIMINAL charges and a WARRANT for my ARREST.

Needless to say, the only sure thing to do is walk everywhere and never open my mail again.